School is starting to suck.
It's not that school didn't suck before,
it's that now school sucks even more.
The new lecturer sucks.
He was trained to teach walls, not students.
All the time he was in class, he was talking to the wall at the back of the class.
I mean, he looked at the wall, as if the wall could listen to him and take notes.
I didn't listen in class,
me and my friends were STONED.
The new trend in class is stoning and I love it.
Being the good parents that they are they gave me money to get a private diploma,
so I study at home.
If don't pass the exam must pay money to take sub-paper.
If fail again must re-module.
Must pay money AGAIN, $300 plus $15 GST.
What the fuck is with GST.
Cuba or dunno what country don't need to pay tax one leh.
Education is free and so is health service.
If the doctors there can't heal you, they send you to another country to get you healed,
an all expenses paid trip, somemore can go on vacation.
That's what I call a welfare country.
Their gahmen care for their welfare.
In Singapore they don't give a fuck and let you die,
of course if you show them your bank account and make them happy,
they jet you somewhere and make a big fuss lah.
Thinking about this makes me angry.
Gahmen give you money,
then my parents happy happy buy a new set of sofas.
Gahmen make you happy already then taxi fare bus fare mrt fare all go up.
Give then must return is it?
Then I rather don't take.
Better don't go up anymore or I will emigrate.
To Cuba or somewhere.
Somemore give birth and abortion is free,
and divorces only cost $3.50.
The people there fuck like crazy.
Welfare.
Siaow.

And what is it with Lebanon and Israel.
They like to fight then fight online or something lah.
Throw one bomb over so many people die.
The people there no brain one leh.
Must bomb until nobody left, left the President, then they happy lah.
Because of one soldier then fight until like that.
Fight somemore the oil prices will go up.
I mean, one person die better then many people die right.
People really are like cows.
At least cows don't fight and throw bombs.
They just eat and sleep and shit and fuck.

Money money money.
Everything is about money.
Got work also headache,
don't work also headache,
work too much also headache.

I think I will emigrate to the countryside.
And buy a farm and milk cows.
I'm the President and the cows are my people.

So I just finished this book I started at the library yesterday.
Pwah I'm fast.
This book got me thinking a lot.
It's called Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock.
It's about a girl growing up in a family where her brothers play football and her dad used
to coach.
Then there's this football player who came to work at their cow farm and she became the
football trainer for this guy.
Then they sort of fell in love but none of them said anything,
cos she's from a farm, and the guy's rich and smart and handsome and with girls hanging
off his arms.
Things happened, she didn't tell him she was going to play football and the guy mistook
everything.
And the girl mistook the guy for being angry about something but mistook him for mistooking
about some other thing.
Then they stopped talking.
Then she went to play for her school's team and against the guy's team.
The girl's team beat them.
In the end they still talked but I dunno what became of their relationship afterwards.

This book really got me thinking a lot.
About friendship, love, how talking to your family is ver important, about football, about
cows (how we humans actually sometimes act like cows).

I'm starting on another book.
I'm going to go drink water.

I'm beginning to relive my love for reading.
Yesterday we stayed at the National Library the whole day.
Of course I couldn't read the whole day right.
I played the PSP sometimes also.

On the way of walking to the library we walked past an old trickshaw(thrickshaw?tricksaw? ok san lun che)
driver napping.
His legs were spread wide open and we saw that he wasn't wearing undies.
Cos we saw something hanging out from one pant leg.
I swear if there was water and soap something I would have scrubbed my eyes clean.
And if there was Dettol I would have gouged them out and rinse them with it.
This is a crime you know!
Old ah peks not wearing undies.
Ughh.

Just came back from the doctor's to get my weekly dose of yucky meds.
The old granny doc very pro,
she took a look at my tongue and told me my thorat dry and haven't been sleeping soundly.
Then she felt my wrist and told me all the things that are wrong with me.
Wah seh, she psychic leh.
I think she can be my grandma, she's so old.

Tell you ar,
the world's nastiest thing is chinese meds.
Ughh!

I'm going to drink water.
My throat dry.

Fuck man, my modem got problem.
IT's SO FRUSTRATING.

Yesterday we were at the library the whole afternoon.
I was studying for my Organisational Behaviours exam on Monday,
while he was happily reading his submarine comics.
Then we went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest at night.
IT WAS GOOD!
Although some say it's not as good as the first one.
Well, the first one was so long ago I've forgotten it.
The movie is packed with all the good stuff: adventure, humour, and 'horror'?
Maybe the disgusting-ness of Captain Davey Jones and his Flying Dutchman crew.
Almost made me want to puke.
They've got these barnacles, sea creatures growing on their bodies and faces.
I didn't like the one with the shark face.
Yuck.
The one with the hermit crab head was funny.
I think he's Cantonese leh.
When his head got cut off,
he muttered some words that sounded Cantonese,
and he kept saying 'Haiyah', when his body couldn't find its way to the head.
So funny, the 'Haiyah' thing.

The part when Elizabeth Swann kissed Jack Sparrow made me jealous of Keira Knightley.
She got to kiss Johnny Depp!

I reached home at about 12am.
Met Matthew and Christopher on the bus.
They asked me if Daryl was still being an ass in class and
I told them no, he's not in the same class as me.
I wonder how they know I study at MDIS.
I'm not very high-profiled.
I had to walk past the suicide site on the way home,
it's just beside the elavator.
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
I can't believe I have to walk past there everyday.
I wonder if he's there.
Well, yeah I believe in the supernatural.
Had so many experiences that I don't like to talk about.

Ma: "Girl, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Me: "I want to be a pirate!"

Actually the man who jumped down yesterday was downstairs Bak Chor Mee stall's owner's relative.
Dunno why he jump also.
Pa has seen him drinking in the coffee shop before.

I find that I can deliver a nice rendition of Jason Mraz's 'Life is Wonderful'
Lalalalalalalala life is wonderful...
The song sounds daft.

Mmmm.
I'm eating instant jellyfish.

Oh well.
The man who jumped down was from Ang Mo Kio.
Wah, everyday I walk past there one leh.
My ma says the place stinks of blood.

Yay.
Gayle Nerva is out.
But I was expecting her to be in the Top 6 or something.
I guess not many people like her, then.

'Tis the season to be jolly.
FWALALALALA LALALALA!!

I love Christmas. x)

FUCK.
Now my com spoil.
I on the computer only got the wallpaper there leh.
No icons no nothing.
Lucky I thought of the Windows Task Manager thing.

So exciting leh.
I woke up dreaming that I was driving a car,
then came out from my room and ma was back from the market.
She told me someone from upstairs jumped off the building this morning.
She didn't see it but pa witnessed it.
Gonna ask him about it tonight.
I asked ma if it was a teenager, cos it's nearing the O Levels.
She shot me a dirty look and told me it was an adult.
Next month Hungry Ghost Festival already,
both August and September.
I hope he/she skips this year's and come back next year.
Maybe they need some ritual or probation,
need some time to settle some things then can come down to the world as Hungry Ghosts.

Then ma told me, feeling so noble,
that she had spent almost all her money she brought with her to the market.
Left only 2 bucks,
and she bought my favourite lor mee,
didn't have money for breakfast herself.
But she's now eating her yam kueh that she made yesterday lah.
Although she's a bit hao lian,
but nevertheless she's a good ma.
And I was suspecting she's having an affair with the TV repairman yesterday.

I kind of like the black with yellow thing.
I like lions.
RWAR.

Not going to study with friends afterall.
The girls couldn't make it,
which leaves me with 3 guys.
Err.

Was working last night.
It was hell.
So few people in Chinatown.
Even passers-by were few.
So if I want to jio customers also no customers to jio.
I just stood there and shooed the pigeons.

Gonna go study with my classmates later.
Study sounds like a word a used a long time ago.
We're studying at the Esplanade Library.
During weekdays very few people.
Somemore the ambience so nice.

I'm in a lousy mood.

Today is our 5th month together.
Can't believe it's already been so long, so many things happened too.
Last night we went to IMM to have dinner and walk around.
We were at Daiso, the $2 shop,
and I was looking at this chalk board/weekly schedule thingy,
when I heard him fart.
I said quite loudly, "Eh, ni fang pi arh?"
When I turned around, I saw him running away very quickly.
What made me laugh was the way he ran,
and when I said, "Eh, ni fang pi arh?",
a lot of shoppers had turned around to look at me,
only to find me talking to myself,
and they thought I was the one who farted and blamed it on someone else,
and was laughing like a psycho.
Hahaha.
That made me laugh a lot.

Xiao Hong once asked me,
If you love someone, would you travel a long distance just to see him?
I said yes.
Last night I travelled an hour and 30 minutes on bus to see him.
Haha.

The TV spoil.
Mother has gone downstairs to her friend's shop to watch TV.

I thought my thoughts of the band was long gone,
but py smsed me last night to ask me about it!
Yay.
Py's getting her friend in, I also got my classmate in.
We'll probably start next week,
after my exams.
Speaking of exams,
SIGH.

Next week's my exams.
Although we have this week off from school to study at home,
next week is still the week that I dread.
Although there're only two modules,
but imagine how much we have to study.
I know I can't compare my workload to a Poly student's workload,
but I was born lazy.
Whatever.
Come to think of it,
actually not a lot to study,
but a lot of practising and memorising.
I'll get through it.

There're some problems going on between me and Mr.Tan.
My bf lah.
But I don't want to publicise to the world my personal life,
so no more details.
But it's not a big problem,
it's just that i think too much.
I worry and worry and worry and get so emotional.
He always manages to convince me nothing bad's going to happen.
But after that I go through the same phase again.
Having someone to love is a good feeling,
and knowing that you're being loved is an even better feeling.(:

I just went through 3 and a half hours of intensive studying.
I haven't done that in a long, long, long, long time.
Or should I say nong, nong, nong, nong time.
That "Nong ago" guy from Singapore Idol.
I heard he made it big in New York.
By the way, I only support Mr.Jonathan Leong.
He's the runner-up of my list of hottest guys,
first one of course being Mr.Tan.
Anyway, I write my notes until my middle finger swollen,
the first time I started writing I rested the pencil/pen/marker/crayon on my middle finger,
and after nong, nong, nong, nong years of writing,
it's created a bump.
Now it's painful.
I can't raise my finger.

Listened to 98.7FM while studying and tada!
The Daniel Ong and Mr.Young collabo.
They tried to call themselves the Collabro.
Haha.
You put two lame people together, they become super-lame lah.
Heard from them that Mr.Einstein had six girlfriends, while he was married.
Probably all at the same time.
7 women leh.
How to handle.
And how was he able to attract so many females ah,
he's not exactly good looking.
Then Mr.Young said Mr.Einstein was the one who came up with the Big Bang theory.
If you don't get it, nevermind.

Today Kitson had a lot of phlegm in his throat, then he spit in his Horlicks paper cup and dared the 15 year old kid to drink it.
They bet on whether he's going to drink it.
$300 if he drinks it.
The phelgm accumulated and became half a cup.
Kitson wanted to pee in it and raise the bet to $1000.
Of cos the kid didn't drink it lah.
But quick cash hor?
Fear Factor leh.
Disgusting factor lor.

After that we chat about torture.
Torture people, torture animals.
Today's topic so sick.
Kitson was the one who came up with all the gruesome ideas.
I wonder is he's Hitler's descendant.

When he wakes the following afternoon,
he looks out of his window at the cafe across the street,
six floors below.
At the tables outside he sees Josie and Lee and Gary enjoying a quiet afternoon coffee.
He opens the window and shouts down at them.
'That's great!' he hollers. 'You all have a great time.
I'll be in here. Alone. On my day off.'
He says that the next time he is besieged by paparazzi
he wants to put speakers out of the windows and blast
Morrissey's 'Suedehead' at them over and over.
Why do you come here when you know it makes me sad?

There was a time when I was very depressed.
I wrote this song, but chucked it somewhere in the computer,
but just discovered it last night.

Death is Not a Life Sentence

standing at the edge of summer
tomorrow's another day
it doesn't matter who i am
it doesn't matter what i do
i just wanna be free
let me out of this misery
i want to shout to the world
what people don't know and see
it's because of many reasons that they are hiding
they are scared, fearful of responsibilities

i let the wind take my body
i feel my soul being taken
i know God is with me
for once i feel a silent peace
because all the love in the world has ceased
i feel myself being lifted
i opened my eyes to realise
that i'm on top of the world
overlooking the ocean,
and that i had jumped from a cliff
freedom is sweet
ignorance is bliss
death is not a life sentence,
for dying is a only a short precious moment
there is darkness
no sounds, no people
nothing to stop me while i fall
i am falling down, down...
it doesn't stop
i don't want it to stop
i want to keep falling
i think of nothing
i clear my heavy head of thoughts
i feel the lord's reassuring hands,
guiding me in and out of the darkness into light
never again will there only be night
for now i have understood,
death is what i'm waiting for
death is what i've been searching for
now i rest in peace

Everyone in class has noticed that our two lecturers are starting to get more and more irritated by our idle chatting in class, which is also getting louder.
Cos nobody ever listens in class, except the goodie goodie good students.
But I study hard at home, so am I one of the goodie good students?
Of cos I am.

We have different topics to chat about in class everyday.
Especially during breaks, which are also getting longer.
Today's break lasted for 45 mins, instead of the usual 30 mins.
Today we chatted about dogs.
The six of us seem to have the same interest in dogs.
The girl beside me owns two dogs,
one fat Jack Russell, and one weird breed.
She's also got the smarts about dogs.
She knows about this and that, that and this.
The football-kicking guy's friend's someone's cousin's son's dunno who
owns a Huskey who leads a good life.
The dog's owner practically has the house's air conditioner on 24 hours a day,
just because of the dog.
It's a Huskey mah,
that's why hard to survive in Singapore's weather,
so fucking hot.
And when my friend eats bread, she looks at the dog,
and dog is eating beef.
She says sometimes she wants to take the beef and give the dog the bread.
And army dudes eat dog biscuits,
I think cos it supplies us with a lot of energy or carbo.
But my friend says it tastes like shit.
See lah, we are no better than dogs.

He keeps dealing and turning over cards until he finds one
that he believes applies; though, even now, only obliquely.
'You had a choice of 15 goes,' says Jonny.
'I just think all this is... we're not proper psychics, you know.'
'I am,' says Rob.
'No, you're not, youth,' says Jonny. 'You think you are, but you're not.'
They start bickering.
'Youth, I am.'
'You're not, youth. You're really not.'
'I am.'
'Bless you for thinking you are... but you're not.'
'I fucking am,' says Rob, firmly.
'You're not,' shouts Jonny.
'No, I am, youth,' insists Rob.
'Youth, you're not,' says Jonny. 'You're a singer. Songwriter.'
'I'm also psychic,' says Rob stubbornly.
This has been a real row at some points,
but now he's also just trying to wind Jonny up.
'I'm slightly worried,' says Jonny,
'because you think you're Mystic Meg now. You're not psychic...'
'Alright, youth,' says Rob, brandishing the cards,
'how about this: will you and me know each other, be in each other's lives, in five years?'
'That's a horrible question,' objects Jonny. 'That's horrible. That's a horrible question.'
'Why are you bothered what the card would say?' asks Rob.
'Because you shouldn't question friendship,' says Jonny.
Rob picks up three cards. They don't seem to comment on the matter either way.
'I can't be psychic when I'm tired,' Rob says.
And they're off again.
'You're not psychic,' says Jonny.
'Fuck you, I am!' says Rob.
'You're not, you dick! You're not psychic.'
'You really mean that, don't you?' says Rob, amused.
'Yes. You are not psychic. What makes you think that you're psychic? Tell me.'
'I just know I am.'

'Fame is like having a little baby,' Rob counters.
'It's really great and really lovely and it takes its first steps and you're there and you cry,
and then it dances a little bit, and you're there and you cry too...
and then it shits itself and it pukes everywhere and then it goes through
the terrible twos when it pulls things off and burns itself and all that sort of stuff,
and you just want to go, "This is great, can I give it to you back for a little bit while i do this?"'

Wheepee!
I scored 17 out of 20 but didn't study for my Business, Accounting and Finance test.
I'm smart. =P

I was flipping through the newspapers when I came across an article.
It's about an American being struck by lightning while he was listening to his iPod outdoors when raining.
One side of his face was chao-da, and his ear-drum spoil.
I was like, 'WHAT?'
That means my iPod is a potential hazard lah.
That means I may die while listening to music.
Wah, quite dangerous hor?
And people can get struck by lightning when talking on the handphone outdoors also.
This morning my rich classmate came to class bringing a huge, expensive looking umbrella.
He's quite rich, so his friends teased him that even his umbrella is from a designer label.
Anyways, what caught our eyes was the tip of the umbrella.
IT WAS MADE OF METAL.
We joked about how he didn't get struck by lightning. *touch wood*

To fill you in on my school's latest news,
2 girls from my class were expelled cos they were caught fighting.
From what I've heard, Ms.A was presenting her powerpoint slides and Ms.B laughed.
Ms.A mistook Ms.B for laughing at her and waited for her outside the classroom after class.
Ms.A beat Ms.B up.
She scratched and attacked only Ms.B's face, and there was a deep scratch on her neck.
Tada, they were expelled.
Ms.A so smart lah, attack only the face, maybe she couldn't stand how pretty Ms.B is,
so attack only the face and scar her beautiful face.
But from what I heard, Ms.B deserves it also.
Ms.B is pretty and stuck up, she even wears skirts to school without panties,
and even seduced her best friend's boyfriend.
Now even her best friend also dulan, dowan friend her.
Then today we got a letter passed around, supposedly a petition for us to sign to help get Ms.A back to school.
So exciting hor?
Sound like a page from Hollywood tabloids.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting the Italians to clinch this year's World Cup.
I've said before, I don't know them well, but after watching last night's match,
I can see now that they have good defense, and good looking players.
Some say it was the perfect match to end the World Cup, with good players, good football, and good drama.
Drama being the irresponsible act of Zinedine Zidane.
A fellow Italian player must have said something nasty to him,
at first he walked away, maybe ignoring him,
but then he suddenly turned around and head-butt the Italian's chest.
The Italian was caught off guard and fell.
That stunt Zidane pulled cost him a red card and he was sent off.
He went straight to the dressing room.
He must have known that France could not win and gave up.
And anyway he'll be retiring, like Oliver Kahn,
and did what he could not have done before.
The match ended with Italy beating France in the penalty shoot-out with a score of 5-3.
The match ended full time with a draw, 1-1.
I thought the match was disappointing.
I was all the way rooting for France, and was deeply affected by what Zidane did.
He's my hero leh.
Lao hero, but still my hero.

The World Cup 5+kg leh.
Fucking make of gold.
Why the mafia didn't go and steal the Cup before the Italians could touch it?

Okay so I've got a new blogskin, it makes me want to blog more and blog.

Quite anxious as of what tonight's match will turn out, after all it's the FIFA World Cup finals.
This day only come once every four years leh.
Confirm must watch, even if I keep nodding off.
So... The big match, Italy against France.
I'm rooting for France, although I don't know Italy that well.
No matter how much you people say about Zinedine Zidane getting old and his hair falling off,
"OLD GINGER IS STILL THE SPICIEST."
It's that crucial goal that Zidane scored that led France to the finals.
My boyfriend says France might win this year, if this year they win then got pattern already.
4 years ago Brazil won, 4 years earlier France won.
But such a pity Brazil couldn't even get to the semi-finals this year.
I was planning to wear my Brazil shirt tomorrow if Brazil had gotten to the finals and won.
The day after Brazil beat Japan, I wore my Brazil shirt to school.
My soccer-playing classmate accused me of being a Brazil supporter.
Although I'm not a diehard fan, I can't say I'm not a fan.
After all, they were Number 1.
Used to be the best team in the world.
4 years ago, their coordination was perfect.
Every goal was spot on.
Ronaldo could do anything.
But now I dunno what happen lah.
So disappointing.
And England also lor.
What happened to my Mr.David Beckham?
Not one single England player is nominated for this year's Golden Ball Award, you know.
But of course my Mr.Michael Ballack is one of the nominees.
Mr.Oliver Kahn won the Golden Glove Award in World Cup 2002.
Best goalkeeper.
Best!

But my favourite team still Germany lor.

4 years ago is, 4 years later will also be.
8 years ago I wasn't watching the World Cup.
8 years ago I was busy getting caned by my primary school teacher.
4 years later I can bet liao. Big money, big money!

People at work ask me of my opinions before matches.
I say which team win, they bet that team, they win money.
Not I haolian lah, please.

WAKE UP AND WATCH THE FOOTBALL!

World Cup 3rd & 4th Placing

This morning I was finally able to force my sleepy body to walk to the tv and turn it on.
Haha I didn't miss that good match, Germany against Portugal.
Tonight definately going to watch the finals.
It's such a pity Germany wasn't able to make it to the final two.
I supported them during the 2002 FIFA World Cup too,
when Oliver Kahn was captain and playing goalie for the Germs.
Last night was supposedly Kahn's last World Cup game,
he's already 37 of age.
Four years later he'd be 41.
He's still good.
He's like, when the ball gets near, he'll be either, 'I want the ball! I want the ball!', and catch and clutch the ball to his chest tightly with both arms, or he'll be, 'Get the ball away from me! Get the ball away from me!', and whack the ball away with his hand.
Four years ago, I remember him punching the ball with his fist, then the ball will be flying skywards.
Damn funny lah I've never seen a goalie like him.
So sad lor, the next World Cup, Germany's goalie is gonna be the curly hair dude.
The next World Cup is to be held in South Africa.
That's such a shock, what? Are they gonna kick coconuts?
And where to find such a big stadium?
No lah, I just haven't seen the world yet.
The blacks may win the World Cup next time, considering African teams like Ghana and Togo can already get so far into the tournament.
And it's their debut somemore.

Anyways, last night was a good match, only the second half was worth watching.
Half time ended with both sides 0-0.
Second half things started to heat up.
That 21-year-old player, I forgot his name, scored two goals for Germany, and Petit from Portugal scored an own goal.
I rememeber Petit's name cos the match's commentator kept repeating Petit's name.
Luis Figo really is a legend, once he stepped onto the pitch, things turned around for Portugal and he helped another dude score for Portugal.
I'm sorry, I'm not one for remembering names haha.
All in all, good match, although I was falling asleep thoughout.
I watched them score two goals with my eyes closed.
By the way, the match ended 3-1.
Of course, Germany won.

I Hope Some Dreams Don't Ever Come True

I dreamt of Bryan Wong milking a panda.