My Saturday

So I'm at the National Library now, with him.
The Internet connection really sucks.
I found the Marketing Management book I wanted and am really happy about it.
Along with it I found a really new and nice (most comics are all tatted and torn) Calvin
and Hobbes comic.
Now all we do is sit at the library during weekends,
and sometimes even weekdays.
Well, all the time.
You think that's boring?
I think it's good.
I love books. (:

I surprise myself sometimes.
I never knew I could write that kind of stuff.

A Haircut

I just went and got me a haircut.
The hairdresser chopped off half a ton of my gorgeous mane off my precious head.
I think she has a problem with my Ma.
My Ma used to have a problem with her.
So she cut off most of my hair for vengence?
But that's stupid.
I'm the innocent party!
*Cries*

LOVE

I know I love to say that love changes people and this and that,
I really mean it.
Love makes you do things you never knew you would do.
Like going long distances (I mean literally).
I've been travelling from Toa Payoh to Jurong East to see him,
but not all the time of course.
Would you do that just to see a friend?
I would probably say,
"YOU SIAOW AH!!! So far, you come here lah!!!!"
Xiao Hong once asked me if I loved someone,
would I go all the way to Joo Chiat to buy chee cheong fun for him?
I said yes.
His question made me think a lot.
I guess love makes people excited somehow.
This anticipation...
This happiness you feel.
I used to have this feeling of my heart swelling (no, it's not a heart condition)
and face gets hot and stomach fluttering thing going on inside me.
I sort of miss that feeling.
Now everything's just going on as it's supposed to be.
Nothing exciting anymore.
But I still get that feeling of luuuuurve when I look at him.
One year ago,
Xiao Hong used to ask me why I keep smiling to myself at work.
He could see that glow.
It's like, if you've seen someone in love, you'll immediately sense it.
It's like a glow, somehow emiting from the person's aura,
that differntiates that person from everybody else.
Some people say they don't need love,
that single is the best, whatever.
Well, I can say, they are bluffing.
Love is the best feeling in the world.
Love is what everybody should look out for in life.
Love is what everybody is looking out for in life.
To love and be loved.
Just having that feeling once is enough.

Somehow love makes you stronger,
makes you more matured,
makes you less selfish,
makes you wake up every morning feeling really happy.
There are things you wouldn't do when you're not in love.
Like just staring at the handphone,
wishing he would sms or call you RIGHT NOW.
Like wishing the bus or train would move faster,
so you can see him sooner.
Like taking up cooking,
so you can cook for him.
Like washing the dishes with him and feeling nice,
although it's something you deeply loathe.
Like loving kids and wanting to have some,
so that you can raise a family with him.

For some reason,
I'm humming to Nat King Cole's L.O.V.E.
Hmmm,
I wonder why.

Update!

Received the news that there won't be a break after the exams.
New modules start immediately after the week of exams.
We need a break.
I mean, we're not exactly up to our eyebrows with textbooks,
but at least have the decency to spare us just one measly break after the exams?
Okay, what's the use of me protesting?
If I complain to the management, I may just get myself kicked out of the school.

Next week's the last week of school,
before we break (I mean, study week) for the exams.
Gotta reeeeeally buck up.

With the bad news done,
now the good news:
MY BACK DOESN'T HURT NO MORE! (:

I love it that when our body gets hurt or sick,
it will automatically repair itself.
Just sleep that pain/sickness away!
But you'll probably need a lot, a lot of sleep.

These days have been busy rushing project and homework.
Now that they're done,
I can take a breath.
It doesn't really take up a lot of time,
but I hate datelines.
I just have this feeling of dread,
whenever a dateline looms near.
Like for example, library date dues, payment date dues,
especially homework datelines.
I mean, even if I had finished it early,
I'd still hate it.

The Lingering Smell

I woke up the past two mornings smelling of Tiger Balm,
went to sleep at night smelling of Tiger Balm,
Don't think I'll be rid of Tiger fucking Balm for some time.
It's not doing me much good.

Exams are around the corner.
It'll be much, much more difficult this time around.
I'll have to keep reminding myself that I'm smart,
and I can accomplish anything I want.
So that I'll be confident.
Nah, I'm kidding.
If I'm able to pass Financial Management,
I'll thank the Gods, the Heavens, and my smartness. (;

My Unlucky Saturday

After the night of pizza,
I think I must have sprained my back or something cos now I have a fuck of a backache.
PY did you spread it to me?
But there's no such thing as contagious backache,
so I've got no one to blame,
not even myself.
Or maybe I over-exerted myself.

Anyway, despite the nagging pain in my back,
I stubbornly went out to see the bf at Jurong East,
I wish we went to Bugis instead,
cos it's so much nearer to home.
Yeah, I was there for a few hours,
maybe 3?
Then I really couldn't stand the pain anymore,
I was sitting on the floor and felt as stiff as a log.
Standing up and stretching did not help,
I could even stretch without wincing in pain.
And weird sounds escaping from people's lips are not tolerated at the library.
So we left,
and headed to the nearest Waston's to buy me some meds.
If not for the Panadol,
I don't think I would have made it home.
I bought a box of Panadol Extend and some Tiger Balm plaster.
Now I'm sitting at home with painkiller in my stomach,
and Tiger Balm on my back.
I feel a little better.
Yeah, a little.

Oh yeah,
and I left my thumbdrive at the library.
I was on the bus (luckily not too far from the library),
when I suddenly scrambled down the bus,
and walked as fast as I could to the library (my back hurt like hell).
I called the bf, too.
He was about to board the train,
luckily he did not.
He reached the library shortly before I did.
He found it, thank God.
No, thank God no one's eyes were sharp enough to see a stray thumbdrive lying on the floor.

All in all,
quite a disastrous day.
Not one of my happiest days, no.

Pizza Making Night

Yesterday was kind of fun.
I reached PY's house only to sit there and watch TV for a while,
and after that we went to buy the ingredients for pizza.
We had to make do without using an oven.
But overall I still think it was quite successful,
if not a mess. (:
Here are some pics:

My Friday Evening

Am at Peiying's house now.
Was feeling bored and chatted with her on MSN but somehow I ended here at her house cooking dinner and making 4 pizzas.
Just had dinner now.
Will upload pictures another time.

Johnny Rzenik

Something New

I know the icon isn't fabulous,
but I did it within 30 mins.
No more boring name links! (:

Chinese Rap - Muar Style!

DAMN FUNNY!
Caution: Kind of vulgar and crude

Being A Ma

Nothing much is happening in my life,
I guess that's why I don't blog so much anymore.
This week is supposed to be my one week break.
But the management went and took it away,
leaving us with 2 days of lesson this week.
It's not that bad, I guess.

This is already the midst of March.
April is coming along and it will bring with it a baby to our house.
No, I'm not giving birth,
my Ma is going to be the nanny of our cousin's little boy.
I've never seen him before.
I only know he's 3 months old, dark skinned, and have long legs.

Um, everybody, please stop saying there's something wrong with this, something wrong with that, about my blog.
I can't change all the mistakes.
There's a bug in blogger that goes around screwing up some people's blog.
Maybe if we leave it alone it'll return back to its original state.

I'm feeling fucked up.
Don't feel so good these days.
Been thinking about the past and the childhood.
I typed and saved parts of my feelings about my past...
Dunno if I should put that in the blog or not.
All I know is that I hated reading it,
and I hated myself for writing it.
I found myself crying after writing it.

I guess being in love makes you think about the future.
Buying the house, the car, the children...
Well I've been thinking a lot about the last bit.
I think if I were to be pregnant now,
I won't feel that bad.
The ones who are going to freak out are my parents and the bf.
I want a boy, he wants a girl.
But it's not up to us to decide, I guess.
I'd raise him/her like the most important thing to me in my life.
He/She would wake up in the mornings and I'll be the first person he/she sees.
I'd bring him/her to McDonald's to have breakfast once in a while,
like my Ma did.
We'll bring him/her to the beach, the library,
we'll go kite-flying...
I want to be a good Ma.

Somebody bought my dream car!

Wah lau!
Blinkymummy and her 'Good Fren' bought my dream car!
White colour some more.
I WANT!!!!!

I so love this song.
It's 'How To Save A Life' by The Fray

Yo, Girrrls!

Watched The Tyra Banks Show.
Don't usually watch that talk show but I was to help my Ma shred chicken breast meat,
so what the hell, I turned on the TV to watch something and shred chicken at the same time.
I love American talk shows.
Ophra Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres, Tyra Banks...
Well, today's episode of The Tyra Banks Show is one of the best I've seen.
It started with Tyra Banks showing pictures of herself being taken by some person,
who got the unflattering angle of Tyra Banks.
She looked, well, fat.
So the guy must have sold the picture to the American tabloids and said Tyra Banks gained 40 pounds.
She started the show clarifying that,
let's put it in my less civilised terms,
"TO HELL WITH YOUR SHIT STORIES!!!"
She actually shouted, with a choked voice, to the tabloids and paparazzi,
"KISS MY FAT ASS!"
Okay, then following that,
the show began with the topic of the weight issue,
more specifically, anorexia.

It's really kind of scary.
To watch these women feel so uncomfortable in their own skin.
They make themselves believe that they will be more beautiful if they lose an extra pound, an extra inch,
by simply not eating.
There was this married mother of two, who was also anorexic, who went on the show.
She's 27, and weighs 75 pounds.
How much is that?
30+kg?
She's 27 and looks like a 9 year old kid.
I bet you could take a pair of chop sticks and hit her ribs and you could make a musical intrument out of her ribs.
She looked frail and very very unhealthy.
Let's just say that if she happens to be caught in a strong wind,
she just might fly away with it.

I'm glad there are not too many cases of anorexia in Singapore.
But I've seen some girls who are way way way too skinny.
There was once, in the MRT, a very very skinny girl sat beside me.
Her arms were just bones wrapped with skin.
I bet she couldn't be pinched.
Imgaine hugging her.
*Shudders*
Anyway, she and her friend came and sit beside me.
Luckily, her friend looked more healthy.
At first, I didn't notice her skinniess.
Cos you don't sit in the train and directly turn to the person beside you to look at him or her.
People started staring at her and that's when I noticed.
I tell you, I sure as hell wanted to get away.
Maybe run to the other bunk or something,
in case somebody looked at the both of us and started seeing the vast difference.
I will personally kill the person who says,
"Wah! So big difference ah!",
and following that,
shoot myself.
Luckily, that did not happen.

The problem behind all of this weight loss craze and anorexic girls is that these girls lack confidence and self-esteem.
The word anorexia would never have been invented if everybody could look at themselves in the mirror and say
with a bright smile, "I'm beautiful!"
They feel so uncomfortable in their own skin,
they have to keep losing weight to reassure themselves that they are beautiful.
I'm not saying skinny isn't good.
Healthy skinny is okay,
but not life-threatening skinny.
To think, half a century ago,
people would be fighting for food,
instead of now, pushing their plates away.

Blackness.

Was in class having Financial Management,
when I felt a slight shaking of the floor.
Left, right, left, right...
Thought the table was shaking,
so I removed my arms from the table.
I asked my friend if he felt it,
he said no.
Then laughingly said,
"Earthquake in Indonesia? Hahaha."
We left it at that.

Then I was chatting with bf on the phone
when I received an sms from that same classmate.
It said, "Really got earthquake just now in Indonesia!"
I burst out laughing.
Just finished a good book,
Girl In Times Square by Paullina Simons.

Been reading a lot.
I discovered my love for reading when I was young.
Pa used to say I'm never seen without a book.
Now he doesn't say anything.

Feeling sad today.
My mood was deeply affected by a question I asked a friend,
of something that happened in the past.
And I thought of death.
A car sped by,
ignoring the red light.
I was about to cross the road.
I thought about the events that would follow,
if I were to take that wrong step,
just one step earlier.
What would I see then?
Red lights?
A crowd gathering?
The sky crying for me?
Or just nothing?
Blackness.

Where would I go?

Toto, HUAT AH!

The toto results came out at 10 last night.
I was about to switch off the TV,
when out of curiosity,
I turned to Teletext to see what the numbers the whole nation has been trying to guess was.
Was thinking of betting, too, initially.
Well, maybe at around 7:30PM last night,
with only 1 hrs 30 mins left before they closed the bet.
Then maybe I decided that I must try my luck next year.
10 million, you know.
Not a small sum.
Bf told me the average amount being betted was $20.
So $20 times the Singapore population, 4.6 million,
which is equals to $92 million.
So the gahmen must have to give the winning price 10 million,
when in fact they earn about 82 million.
That's great.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

It's been raining since yesterday.
I can't stand it anymore.
I ruined my plans for yesterday.
I want to go out!
Without holding a fucking umbrella.