Ah Meng's Funeral

I work at the Zoo. So it was natural that I went and took a look.




It was one of the saddest days at the zoo.

I'm 19!

I'm no longer a teenager now. Have finally grown into adult age. Feels kind of funny because I've just only recently felt more "womanly".

Anyway, the bf came over yesterday morning after his interview and bought me a cake!

I love fruit cakes. :)

And then after that things sort of went downhill after we arrived at Jurong East because I couldn't make up my mind where I wanted to go. He got a little annoyed. Sorry. Things perked up after 3pm, we decided to go to Jurong Point and he treated me to Ichiban Sushi. And then I went home feeling a little more happy.

Day spent at Chinese & Japanese Garden

Haven't got time to blog lately, so am going to update everything now.

Ended up going to Japanese Garden with the bf on the 23rd. First reason is cos we've run out of places to sight-see and the library gets a little boring once in a while. So, it's good to enjoy a little nature and get a little sun now and then. But man, that place is a great place for couples. The other people who are in the area are miles away. We didn't see a lot of people around that day, just the occasional grass-cutter or leaves-sweeper, or other couples looking to enjoy a quiet day out together.

So it was just me, the bf, and the sun. We went up a little slope and rested in a shelter but ended up staying there for quite a while, enjoying the warm breeze and each other's company as we lay our heads on each other's laps, in turn. There were no one around to disturb us, except for the few white storks picking about on the grass.

Oh yeah, and with a newly bought camera, comes a new found love for photography. Managed to shoot some pictures that day, but not a lot, though.
That's the monitor lizard we saw. This is actually the zoomed-in pic of the monitor lizard cos obviously I couldn't get too close to it. It escaped into the river when I went closer.

Am Sick

Feeling sick. Having a really fantastic runny nose. But after swallowing a little yellow pill my nose doesn't feel that bad. Hope will feel better by tomorrow cos it sucks when your voice is all nasal and whiny and you have to talk to people and you're sniffling and the customer's looking at you and thinking, "what's with your nose?" And then I'm trying not to spread my germs and bacteria to my colleagues and courteously going out of the shop to chuck my used tissues, but it's kind of a chore.

Whatever. Imagine me in my nasal voice.

Oh yuck.

January babies birthday celebration at Night Safari

This month we've got 6 people from Zoo retail shop who are celebrating their birthdays, including me. So we all decided on a date to celebrate. Not surprisingly, it was held at Ulu Ulu Restaurant at Night Safari, cos it's the nearest and most convenient place for us.

It was the usual. We had dinner, they brought the cake out and blah blah blah. All the part-timers have got a red and white Nike jersey with a number and their name at the back, but the January babies are all for free, and that's our birthday presents. Here's mine:
Some photos we took that night. :)

People staying over again

My cousin and her friend will be in Singapore for a few days. Apparently they’re here for the Poly open-house and everything. They want to study in Singapore. They’ve gone to Bugis. Luckily no one asked me to bring them sight-seeing. I’m feeling a little down and lazy due to the once-every-month thing. My room is kind of in a mess, and a pair of panties is hanging on the windows. Hur hur.

I feel like crap. Like I’m only a quarter conscious.

Off day today

Am going to meet the bf later on. I’m still not convinced he’s recovered, although he insists that he’s okay. I tickled Ethan into fits of giggles this morning. What a sight it was. Haha. He’s sound asleep now. Probably dreaming of my tickling.

3rd day spent at home... Doing whatever I like

Turned out Joey couldn’t meet me today. So I’ve got the whole day to myself again. The bf’s still sick. Didn’t really spend the whole day at home, went out a little earlier to update my bank book. The pay is only $400 plus due to the 3 weeks I spent at home, ABSOLUTELY DOING NOTHING, while waiting for the hole in my ass to heal. Then went to the library to return 2 overdue books and pay a $2 fine. Then borrowed another Haruki Murakami novel and a Zits comic book. Then went home and had lunch.

Then I’m now sitting here. When I’m not working, my life’s pretty boring. But today I’ve got Ethan to keep my company. But he just woke up from his nap and my ma’s bathing him now and he’s not in a good mood. He’s whining and crying.

Well, guess I’ll just… waste my time today.

Update

Hello world! It’s a Sunday morning! Most Sunday mornings I wake up at 7:30am and rush off to work but tada! No work today! Am as happy as a duckling paddling in a pond.

Wanted to see the bf initially but he’s got slight food poisoning. So I’ve got another day all to myself! And actually wanted to ask Orlina out but I had second thoughts about it, cos the thought of the amount of money I SURE WILL SPEND put me off. Then again, I’m maybe meeting Joey tomorrow. Hmmm.

In case you’re wondering why this blog’s url is chasingmysun instead of chasingthesun, it’s cos chasingthesun already exists in WordPress, so the next alternative is chasingmysun, although I’ve got to admit it doesn’t really sound as nice as chasingthesun. But I don’t want to change the url of my blog to something else cos it’s stuck with me for so long, and thinking about a new url for the blog will really take up some of my time… Whatever, so long as it’s catchy and people remember it, I don’t really mind.

I’m in quite a good mood now, so I guess I’ll just surf this endless infinite space of the World Wide Web and I’ll probably spend the rest of the day with my Haruki Murakami novel.

A feeling of carelessness, having nothing to do, wasting the time away... I think you get it

I've got 3 days off. It's such a relieve, and at the same time it's also a pain. I've got too much time on my hands.

Ever since I returned back to work after the surgery, I was either working or out with the bf, never had one day off at home (which I used to have, a lot), but anyway, having some time to myself once in a while is nice.

Ethan is turning 1 year old soon, his birthday's this 19th Jan. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ETHAN! He's started walking, which is really great cos most babies only start walking after their 1st birthdays. Although he's a little wobbly now cos he hasn't got much strength in him cos he's having diarrhoea cos he's teething... Well.

More than 9 months of getting along with him, I've developed a very deep emotional attachment to this little boy. I practically love him as though he's my own flesh and blood. Just the other day, my ma forced his medicine into his mouth, but he resisted and cried a lot cos he absolutely hates medicine, he was crying so helplessly standing in front of me that I just reached out and grabbed him in my arms and patted his back to make him feel better. But he saw my ma holding the syringe and got scared and cried even harder and louder. All the while his arms were wrapped very tightly around my neck... Almost as if he was scared that I'd let go of him and he'd be taken by Monster Meds again. I could really feel how scared he was and I couldn't help it, I cried with him in my arms. And my ma got a little shocked when I started crying too and backed off with the syringe. Then Ethan got off me and saw my wiping my eyes and that's when he stopped crying and stared at me, questioning me with his eyes. I think I can understand what he's thinking, without verbal communication. He has eyes and expressions that can be read. Then I just smiled at him and dried my tears and that's when I noticed there was a huge blotch of white syrup on my sleeve. Apparently he had cleaned his mouth on my tee shirt while crying.

Such a poor little thing, sick when he doesn't want to be but still falls sick easily. It's so sad... Seeing him suffering this way. He's lost a lot of weight, even rejecting food for the first time. He's got no appetite and sometimes he moans and whimpers to himself. But I don't know where he's hurting or how uncomfortable he feels. If I could, I'll do anything to make him better.

Update

Spending quite some time in front of the computer now cos basically I'm just waiting for the time to waste away until tomorrow afternoon. And now I'm only starting to blog cos I have too much time on my hands. Will be going to Malaysia with the bf tomorrow. Catching the 2pm coach to Batu Pahat to meet my ma and sis. They went on Thursday. Since I had to attend the zoo retail Christmas BBQ party last night, I had to go by myself on Sunday. And the bf wouldn't let me go alone so he'll be tagging along.

Am quite frightened as to how my relatives would react to the bf. Especially IF I tell them his age. But IF they don't ask, I won't say. Because there's really quite a big age gap.

Last night's BBQ was fun. Didn't eat a lot, though. But drank too much.

Life is just passing by slowly. Recently I've been doing some reflections on myself. I need to control my emotions and thoughts. They will ruin me one day if I don't. My head isn't making all the decisions, only my heart is.

The new year is coming... Time for new year resolutions again.

On the road to recovery

I'm now recuperating at home. Time is passing slowly and I'm calculating how much money I have not earned all this while. I'm glad to say the wound doesn't hurt as much anymore. Just came back from the polyclinic. I've to go there to change and clean my dressing once every 2 days.

The crucial point of my healing is to keep the wound clean. I've got to soak my ass in salt water twice everyday. That's for hygiene purpose and this speeds up the healing process.

Hope to get better soon and get to work!

First Stay At The Hospital (except for my birth)

Went to the polyclinic on Friday with the bf and sis for a check up. Doc said I had to have the lump surgically removed, there wasn't any other choice. And I had to had it done soon, cos it might spread to other places, like the large intestine. And that means big trouble. Was really scared at first, the thought of the hospital and the operation, but thankfully the bf was with me all the while. Went home and packed some things and took a cab to Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

Went to register at the A & E but the nurse said only one person can accompany me, so my sis went home. A nurse took our temperature at the screening station, I had a slight fever. Then I had a sticker pasted on my shirt, the bf had a blue band attached to his wrist. Then we went in and paid $80 for the A & E fee then sat down and waited. A nurse called me and asked me what I was suffering from and used something to prick my finger for blood to test the pH of my blood. Then waited some more until a cute young doctor called my name. I was hoping it wasn't going to be him cos whatever I was suffering from was on my ass. So of cos I had to pull my pants down and show him. He poked around a bit to determine my condition and called for the senior surgeon to take a look. The senior surgeon came and shook my hand and told me he'd be my surgeon for the evening and then went off. I knew at the end of the whole thing I wouldn't have any face left from the embarrassment of the number of people looking at my ass, I thought there would be more people looking at my ass so I didn't bother to button up my pants. Then the cute doctor got the IV drip needle and was about to poke it into my arm when I exclaimed, "Is that painful?!" He looked at me and said, "What? No it's just a needle. Don't look." and jabbed it into my arm and I went, "Ow." Then the curtain was pulled open and I could see the bf outside. I waved to him and he waved back. We did that several times until I was pushed out.

Basically most of the time I was being pushed around and waiting. Then I was pushed to the observation room to continue waiting, cos I had to wait for the food and water in my system to clear up before they can start the operation. There were many other patients around, lying on beds too, but they had a friend or family member with them, but I was alone. That made me feel a little lonely and pitiful. But after a while I turned on my phone to see the bf's message saying that my pa and sis are on their way to the hospital. Then after a while the bf found the room I was in and came in and told me he'll go out and show my pa the way in. After that my pa came in, looked at my IV drip and laughed then talk to me a little but most of time time he was looking at other patients and other things and occasionally glancing at his watch and I knew deep down he was impatiently waiting for my surgery to start.

Finally, a nurse came and asked me to change into my surgery gown, and told my pa that he had to bring my belongings back cos I would have to be warded for a night. I changed into the gown and waited. It felt funny cos I was naked inside except for my red panties with the hole. It was sort of.. airy. Anyway, I was then put in a wheelchair and pushed to another building to level 3's Day Surgery Centre. And that's when the fun began.

I think I was the last surgery patient that night, cos there were no other patients around. My hair was tied up and covered with a shower cap. Okay so I was dressed in 2 thin gowns, one from the front and one from the back, a shower cap on my head, and ill-fitting ah pek slippers. I thought I looked ridiculous. Then I was put on a bed and pushed into the operating theatre. The journey to the operating theatre was a little dramatic, like you see on TV shows. A surgeon was pushing me, then another joined him, and then followed by a third one. They were all wearing masks and whispering to themselves. There were 5 or 6 surgeons in the room and I was thinking, "Isn't my surgery a small one?" A female surgeon told me they will put some anesthetic in my IV drip so I'll be asleep during the operation. They put the blood pressure thing again on my arm and stuck some things to my arms and chest. Then someone put an oxygen mask on my nose and mouth and told me to take deep breaths, but I almost choked cos the mask smelt strongly of rubber. I remember asking, "Breathe through my nose or mouth?" Someone told me either way I feel most comfortable with. I didn't know what happened next, I fell asleep.

Next moment I was awoke by someone talking. I opened my eyes and saw a female surgeon. She smiled and told me the surgery was over and it lasted about half an hour. She was like an angel to me cos she's the first person who genuinely smiled at me throughout the whole procedure at the hospital. I asked if I can call home, and she went to get a phone and helped me dial the numbers. My sis picked up and I told her my operation was over, and asked her to sms the bf. After that I was a little groggy because of the anethestic. Then someone pushed me to my ward. I didn't sleep very well that night.

The next morning to my delight the bf and my pa and sis came in. The hospital had called my family and the bf met them at the train station. I was changed into my clothes and realised that I had stained the sheets with blood. My wound dressing was soaked with blood too. They couldn't stitch up the wound cos they had to let the remaining pus leak out from the wound, I just saw the wound this morning, it's about half the length of my finger, a gaping hole.

Yes, that's all. My adventure at the hospital. I never want to go there again.

SHOPPING!

Went shopping today and bought a bag, a shirt, and 2 pairs of pants.

I'm broke.

Update

It's the time of the year when I'm the most lonely.. Again. The bf's gone for reservist. 2 weeks without him is more than I can bear. He reported back to camp on Monday and on Sunday night when we were talking, I chanced upon the picture of me and him and I almost cried. I think I rely on him too much. But I can't help it. :( The only upside is I lent him a phone without camera so we can still communicate. And I can get to see him on Deepavali. There, that made me feel better. :)

Work is okay.. The pay is little but how much can I ask for in this service industry? Not much. Work has been kind of fun lately cos there's a girl working in the Operations department who looks a lot like me.

Looks a lot like me right? That made me a couple of more friends at work. Haha.

Update

Can't think of why I've stopped blogging. I used to love blogging so much, I blogged EVERY SINGLE DAY. Now I blog maybe once a month (doh!). I think I've lost the urge to record down the bits and pieces of my life, I just let the days pass as they go.

Today is an off day. 3 off days actually. Then it's back to work on Sunday. Work is going pretty well. But am seriously dreading the arrival of my cert and then having to look for another job and adjusting to the new surroundings and people and stuff. I don't like changes. Never.

Ethan is sleeping just beside me now. I'm typing really really quietly. Cos if he wakes up he'll be yelling at me to pick him up -.-".

At only 18, I think my mind has settled down. Once the relationship has gone on for quite some time and everything is steady, you start to plan your future.

Am thinking about our prospective home,
costs of renovation and furniture,
number of kids,
car or no car?,
and how long do we need to save the money for wedding business.

I'm seriously looking forward to all of that.
I want it as soon as possible. (:

Finally an update... After a long long time

Urm. So I've finally decided to blog and not abandon this page for any longer. Because right now I have nothing to do and trying to waste time until the chatting time with the bf, but actually I have clothes to be folded and organised and the latest Harry Potter book to be read but I can't stand the sight of my messy and disorganized bedroom and I have had enough of reading Harry Potter and friends running around trying to avoid Death Eaters and the Ministry of Magic people and mourning Albus Dumbledore's death and thinking of a way to kill Mr Voldemort.

So... I'm blogging.
Urghh. I hate typing.

Right now my life revolves around the bf, my family, Ethan, and the Singapore Zoo.

Nothing much to update actually. Same old boring life with everything in between. Ethan is around 8 months old now and don't ask me to post his photos cos I'm lazy but I'll do it anyway.

Work and more work

I've been working my ass off.
Can finally relax this weekend, and next week it's back to working and working and more working.
The supervisor made me do cashiering on my own yesterday.
And I'm glad that everything went very smoothly.
Very very smoothly,
so much so that I had even more energy after work from all that reliefness and gladness than I was in the morning.
AND....

PAYDAY IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!
I is happy.... (:

Update

I've been busy working. Have worked 6 days by now and earned around $300. Starting to get the hang of everything and the staff are more friendly towards me now. (: