Being A Ma

Nothing much is happening in my life,
I guess that's why I don't blog so much anymore.
This week is supposed to be my one week break.
But the management went and took it away,
leaving us with 2 days of lesson this week.
It's not that bad, I guess.

This is already the midst of March.
April is coming along and it will bring with it a baby to our house.
No, I'm not giving birth,
my Ma is going to be the nanny of our cousin's little boy.
I've never seen him before.
I only know he's 3 months old, dark skinned, and have long legs.

Um, everybody, please stop saying there's something wrong with this, something wrong with that, about my blog.
I can't change all the mistakes.
There's a bug in blogger that goes around screwing up some people's blog.
Maybe if we leave it alone it'll return back to its original state.

I'm feeling fucked up.
Don't feel so good these days.
Been thinking about the past and the childhood.
I typed and saved parts of my feelings about my past...
Dunno if I should put that in the blog or not.
All I know is that I hated reading it,
and I hated myself for writing it.
I found myself crying after writing it.

I guess being in love makes you think about the future.
Buying the house, the car, the children...
Well I've been thinking a lot about the last bit.
I think if I were to be pregnant now,
I won't feel that bad.
The ones who are going to freak out are my parents and the bf.
I want a boy, he wants a girl.
But it's not up to us to decide, I guess.
I'd raise him/her like the most important thing to me in my life.
He/She would wake up in the mornings and I'll be the first person he/she sees.
I'd bring him/her to McDonald's to have breakfast once in a while,
like my Ma did.
We'll bring him/her to the beach, the library,
we'll go kite-flying...
I want to be a good Ma.